Yesterday I was listening to Pandora on my laptop as I worked on the pile of dishes in the sink. A song came on that I haven’t heard for a long time and it brought me to tears because it instantly took me back two Springs ago. Does music do that to you? The song is called “While I’m Waiting” by John Waller and, just like yesterday, every time it came on the radio two years ago it made me cry.
Back-tracking a bit to the Fall of 2009 and Winter of 2010….. We had both finished our master’s degrees (I walked in December of 2009) and we had spent the last six months since I had finished classes trying to find Brent a new job. We didn’t know what else to do. Brent felt restless in his job and was tired of commuting 45 minutes back and forth to work every day (unlike in bigger cities, people in Northwest Arkansas just don’t typically do that kind of thing). I felt as if God must be doing something bigger but didn’t know what. And, we were facing a crisis because now that my degree was done, my student loans were coming due and we didn’t have an extra $300 a month to pay for them.
Brent had applied for jobs in Colorado, Tennessee and Minnesota and after going through a couple of rounds of interviews for the jobs in Tennessee and Minnesota God had closed the door on Tennessee. At the same time, the Lord had opened up an opportunity for me to apply and interview for a new Cheer Coach position at JBU. Very quickly, I was offered the coaching position and we had a decision to make: do I say yes and we start looking for a place to live in Siloam or do we say no in hopes that the job in Minnesota comes through? After praying, we decided to say yes to the cheer job…even though neither of us had real emotional peace about it. Soon after, the door closed in Minnesota and in February we began looking for a house in Siloam Springs so we could be closer to campus.
By the time April rolled around we had literally looked at a minimum of 30 homes and had only found one we felt could work in our price range (and it would need a TON of work!). We made an offer and after some countering back and forth it was accepted, but then when the home inspection came through we found out there would need to be about $5,000 worth of repairs on top of the thousands of dollars we had already planned to spend. So, we backed out. We were frustrated, anxious and all the while questioning if we really even wanted to move closer to JBU, anyway, since we knew Brent didn’t see himself continuing to do his job for more than a couple of years longer. I felt confused and unsettled despite the fact that if I was honest, I felt in my heart that we were supposed to move over here for some reason.
I remember driving somewhere with Brent one day while in the middle of all of this. We were talking about what we were doing and how neither of us felt like Arkansas was home, nor did we want to live here forever, so why were we even buying a house? But, we just didn’t know what God was doing and we really felt like He was telling us we needed to buy a house and move. We agreed we needed to keep taking steps forward in obedience even if we weren’t sure why. All of the sudden, ”While I’m Waiting” came on the radio and I felt like the Holy Spirit was speaking directly to us. These are some of the lyrics:
I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait
It’s so incredible to look back on that time and see where God has brought us in the last two years! I think one of the reasons I got so emotional when I heard “While I’m Waiting” again is because while I remembered the frustration and confusion from two years ago, the Holy Spirit gently whispered to me, “Good job! You trusted me. Now that part of your wait is over.”
See, He has been so gracious. His plan and purpose in us moving to Siloam Springs became clear about a year ago when we finished taking Perspectives. He called us here to confirm His call to the nations in our hearts. We did buy a house, and it has been a gift in more ways than one. We found a new church family and have really felt for the first time since we moved to Northwest Arkansas that we have found a home. Ironically enough, after seven years of trying and finally feeling like we belong in this place, the Lord is calling us away. And again, we wait, trusting Him to lead in His time while we move ahead bold and confident, taking steps in obedience.
Which leads us to today and this week. On Friday, we board a plane and depart for a week in Mid West Asia and a week in South Central Europe where we will be visiting four teams with which we might serve. We return on May 6, Lord willing with a vision and a heart for the next place God is leading us.
We appreciate your prayers and thoughts as we travel with Dawson and as Kenzie and Camden stay here with my parents. It’s going to be one of the hardest things we’ve ever done to leave our bigger kiddos behind for two weeks, but we know it must be done and trust they are in good hands. We are so excited to complete this vision trip and start to see exactly what God has in store for us in the next phase of our journey! He is faithful, that He has proven time and time again as we have waited on Him in the past. Without a doubt, He will prove to be the same again!
As we prepare to go on the field indefinitely, one of the things we have to start thinking and praying about is homeschooling our kiddos. There is a good chance we will be enrolling our children in a local, national school for a couple of hours a day so they can make friends and learn the language faster. But, the majority of their schooling is going to have to be done at home.
Because we aren’t sure exactly when we will be departing, we are praying through whether to start homeschooling Kenzie in the fall simply because that will be one less novel thing to conquer when we get to our new home. (Camden won’t start kindergarten for two more years since he has an October birthday, so we’ve got a while before we have to think about him.) I’m not sure when we will make that decision (perhaps the week before school starts in August), but it will be based on how support-raising is going this summer.
That said, I need help. =) All you homeschooling families out there, would you please be so kind as to give me some pointers, recommendations, etc. on getting started and finding curriculum? What has worked for your kids? What hasn’t? I realize that each child is different, but I’d love to hear about your experiences and how you jumped into this big, huge ocean of possibilities!
Pardon the MC Hammer reference. =) (I’m kind of dating myself there, huh?)
We are one month out from our Vision Trip! With this adventure kicking into high gear we’ve decided it’s time to start sending out weekly prayer updates for those of you who are interested in joining our prayer team. For more info about what that involves, check it out here.
We would love for you to join our team and are hoping to send out our first prayer point newsletter this week. If you’d like to be on that list, please let us know!
Tuesday we took the next big step on our journey: we purchased plane tickets for our vision trip! =) After hours of searching the internet for the best deals and debating whether it would be better to take one LONG flight to our destination or have a 6-8 hour layover in a fun location like Rome or London, we landed on what we think is the best travel itinerary for us. (Taking into consideration that Dawson will be with us, we opted for the LONG direct flight rather than a layover in a fun city…so we are looking at 12 hours on a plane!!!)
I have never felt so many mixed emotions all at once over purchasing plane tickets. Excitement, fear, anticipation, doubt, hope, anxiety, joy…. As I prepared to push the “purchase” button my heart started beating a little faster and my hands starting shaking. I took a deep breath (after quadruple checking that our itinerary was correct for these non-refundable and non-transferable almost $3,000 plane tickets), looked at Brent, and said, “Are you ready?” When I tapped my laptop mousepad to make it final I felt a surreal sense of relief and awe. Woo hoo! Even just talking about it right now makes my breath a little short and my heart skip a beat. We are really doing this!!!!
With our vision trip coming up in less than two months, we are in support raising mode for the first time on this journey. We aren’t 100 percent sure what our expenses will be yet (can’t nail that down until we purchase our plane tickets), but it is looking like it will be in the ballpark of $5,000-6,000.
We wish we just had that money in the bank to use and could pay for it ourselves, but that’s not the case. We will probably be able to use some of our tax return this year to help, but we will also need other sources of funding. So, we prayed and decided that instead of spreading our “nets” wide before this trip we were going to work to raise the funds through a Spaghetti Fundraiser and a Rummage Sale of sorts at our church.
This past Sunday we held our Spaghetti Fundraiser and were both humbled and overwhelmed at God’s faithfulness and provision. With the gracious help of my parents, our home group, the Missions Leadership Team, some youth from our church, and a few friends from JBU we were able to feed about 150 people spaghetti and share where we are on our journey. At the end of the lunch we went home exhausted. We ALL napped and then Sunday evening we sat down to count the money people had donated. As Brent sat at the table counting, tears streamed down our faces because of the generosity of so many people…some who don’t even really know us that well. When he finished counting he told me the total and it literally took my breath away: almost $2,000!!!! God is SO GOOD! We are at least 1/3 of the way there! Thank You, Lord! (And thanks to everyone who helped make it happen.)
In addition to the support for our vision trip, we also received our first monthly pledge without even asking for it. We couldn’t be more thrilled! Though it was A LOT of work, we feel like God showed up in a HUGE way this past weekend and it just makes us giddy with anticipation to see what He’s going to do next!
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen” Ephesians 3:20-21
Sorry about the lag in posts for the last month. Besides preparing for the missions field, the every day craziness of our lives has been keeping us insanely busy. Kerri has organized a Valentine’s party for Kenzie’s class at school, hosted two cheer clinics, orchestrated a breast cancer fund raiser for the cheer squad and women’s basketball team, attended lots of basketball games, (including the SAC Conference Tournament last week), and chased after three on the go kiddos. (Dawson officially started ”scoot crawling” today!) Brent has been busy helping with the kiddos while Kerri has been running around, keeping up with typical work demands, and doing lots of studying for his New Testament Survey class (found out today he got a 100% on his first paper-NICELY done!).
We’ve also been able to accomplish a few missions-related things in the midst of it all. We now have two kids with passports and one with a passport on the way. Dawson and Camden’s passports only took three weeks to get here, but we are still waiting for Kenzie’s because we applied for hers two weeks after the boys’. Our kids are all going to have passports! So amazing! =) Funny tidbit, on the way to the post office to get the application submitted Kenzie asked why she needs a passport to go to Europe but not to Iowa. Guess she thinks Iowa is a different country. =)
We’ve had several more Skype conversations with teams on the field as we continue our search and have actually broadened our scope to include Mid West Asia. This is largely because of some conversations we’ve had with people about the need for Christians to shine light on the misconceptions about what it means to follow Jesus in that area of the world. The idea of just living our lives out loud by loving each other and our neighbors well while trusting the Holy Spirit to draw people to Himself is very inticing to us.
We have also landed on the last week in April through the first week in May as most likely the time we will be taking our vision trip. (Which is SO EXCITING!!!) We are waiting to talk with one or two more teams and then we will lay out our definite plans, but as of right now it appears as if we will be visiting at least three or four teams on the field! Yippee! We are anxious to get across the world and see where God is leading this voyage. You can join us in our prayers for clear discernment and unity amongst the teams and our hearts as we are on our trip. More details to follow as they come…..
My mom and I talk on the phone pretty regularly. She is my sounding board and often the person, besides Brent, who helps me take a step back and breathe deeply when I need to be refocused. She’s also the person who has always reminded me to trust that God has it all under control.
I have been honest with my mom over the last few years as I have felt the Holy Spirit compelling me to pray about going into missionary service. She has never discouraged me or told me I’m crazy, and for that I’m thankful. For the most part she has remained quiet as we have taken more steps in this direction. All along I have wondered how she really feels about this decision the Lord has directed us to make and have felt a sort of ache in my soul to know she is okay with it. (Yes, I am human and struggle with the desire to please people…even when I know I am doing what I’m supposed to be doing.)
Last month at COP I feel like we all had a breakthrough. I received great confirmation. Brent received great confirmation. And, I think my mom received great confirmation, as well. Because since then, it feels different. There is more clarity and conviction on our part, and I sense more surrendered support from my mom. So much so that I was hugely overwhelmed on Monday when she shared with me she has been the brunt of some “friendly fire” on our behalf. (More to come on that later.)
After she communicated the conversations she had with a few people to me she finished by saying, “Who am I to tell you not to be obedient and follow what God is calling you to do?” I could hear the heartfelt conviction in her voice that she is 100 percent in support of what we are doing because we are being obedient, even if it means we might get hurt or her grandkids might get hurt. Like always, she is trusting God is in control. Her immeasurable faith inspires me and certainly has left an indelible mark on who I am!
What a tremendous blessing it was for me to hear that encouragement from my mom and know that she “has our back”. Thank You, Lord, for the gift of my mom. May I be the same kind of mother for my children, one who desires for them to know You and walk in obedience no matter what. May I be the kind of mom who gains joy from knowing my children love You more than they love me…and, please, may that be true someday….
“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10
One of the afternoons we were at COP we happened to be sitting in a meeting when the speaker read from Psalm 37:7: “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him.” I turned to Brent and smiled and said, “Isn’t that the verse your pastor chose for you when you were in junior high?” He turned to me and said, “No, it was actually Psalm 46:10.” I flipped my Bible to Psalm 46:10 and read the verse. And then I got goosebumps. See, we’ve talked many times before about how we think it’s fitting the pastor gave Brent this verse because sometimes he can struggle with worry. To be still and know that God is God is a good reminder to trust that He has it all under control. Yes, that part of the verse has always clicked. But, for the first time that day as I read the verse again, the second part jumped off the page: “I will be exalted among the nations….”
Why have we never noticed this before? I looked up at Brent and started laughing and choking back tears at the same time. Our God is SO BIG!!! Before we went to COP I think there were still some questions in Brent’s heart as to what God is really calling us to do. But, through various conversations, meetings and prayer it became clear that we are walking a path God has ordained and we must keep moving forward to go.
It is not a coincidence that Brent’s pastor prayed Psalm 46:10 over him 25 years ago. It is such a perfect verse for both of us, honestly. While Brent has a tendency to worry, I have a tendency to want to hurry up already. =) And I think we could both experience those temptations in this whole process as we set about discerning where God is calling us and raising support to get there. God is telling us both to be still. Don’t worry. Don’t hurry. I’ve got this covered. I’ll get you there and I will use you to spread my fame. But my being exalted among the nations is not dependent on you. (Thank goodness!)
Our God is so big and His Word is so good. Thank You, Lord!
There are Pioneers teams all over the world. We went to COP leaning toward Europe and we left COP still leaning toward Europe, but not 100 percent certain about that leaning. However, we were able to meet the area leader for the teams in South Central Europe and had several great conversations with him about the ministries going on in Serbia, Bosnia, Croatia and Montenegro. We were encouraged to hear the heart of the teams in those areas and are currently in communication with several of them to discern our next steps. We are also initiating a conversation with a team in the Czech Republic and some teams in another part of the world that cannot be mentioned here. Depending on how these conversations go, we will plan on taking a survey trip to somewhere in late March or early April.
The purpose of the survey trip is to spend some time with the missionaries currently on the field and to get a feel for what life and ministry are like in those areas. We will most likely pick 2-3 teams to visit in hopes that we will connect with at least one of those teams as well as find a natural fit for our gifts and skills to be used.
We are excited for the Lord to give us some direction here and trust He will guide us to the right place as we keep taking steps in that direction. But this is where you come in and can join us on this adventure. We need your prayers. Please pray with us that we would have clarity, unity and discernment as we have conversations with teams around the world.
In addition to your prayers, we need your financial support. Once we nail down where we are taking our survey trip we will know exactly how much it will cost. Until then, we are trusting the Lord knows how much we will need and is going to stir people’s hearts to give toward the trip. If you want to be a financial partner on this journey and feel led to give, please send us an email or click on this link to give on-line.
It has only been a little over two weeks since I last blogged but it feels like so much longer. I don’t even know where to begin, honestly. COP was incredible. It was an inspiring, enlightening, challenging, emotional, life-changing week.
Lots of people have asked us what we did all week. In an attempt to keep it brief, here is a list: we met with a counselor, got interviewed by a committee, learned more about Pioneers and its core values, shared our story and heard other stories of the amazing people God is leading to missions, explored different areas of the world through conversations with missionaries currently serving on the field, enjoyed time with my mom and dad (who came to help with Dawson–pictured here looking cute as ever in the airport as we were waiting to be picked up), visited the beach and ate some yummy seafood, absorbed a ton of information on developing a prayer team and financial support for going on the field, and received and accepted an official appointment to become Pioneers’ misssionaries.
Yes, that’s right. We are now official Pioneers’ missionaries. So, what exactly does that mean? It means that we are moving forward, taking more steps of faith and obedience and saying yes to God’s call. Next on our agenda is to figure out exactly where God is calling us. We are actively working on that and definitely appreciate your prayers for discernment on our behalf. Check back for more on that topic very soon!
